Abstinence. Personal Empowerment. Support. Inclusiveness. www.freestylerecovery.org.
Over 8 years ago, I quit drinking for good and discovered a depth of life I had forgotten and perhaps never really knew. There were horribly difficult times, but I marched through them, increasingly confident that I could manage and make it through. I did, and have.
Somewhere, though, I wondered: What would I do if I was hit with horrible news, death of my wife for example? What would my reaction be? We can think we know, but we don't know until we are there in that moment.
This week I got some of that sort of news, a surprise diagnosis of a brain tumor that probably will change my life or possibly end it. My very first thought, interestingly, was: It this it, the excuse my reptile has been waiting for, for all these 8 years? Time to drink?
And with satisfaction, I can say: No! Even now, that is the farthest thing from my mind. I need to be on top of my game, fully engaged, and drinking now would solve nothing and ruin the time I have left.
It is indeed possible to get to a point in recovery where absolutely nothing will shake your resolve to never drink again, and I know now that I am at that point. For sure.
I hope and expect to make it, but I know the easiest way to chuck everything down the toilet right now would be to go back to drinking.